Copyright 2018 - Lecharter

Hitch hiking my way to the ER in Serbia

Too early and too hot in the morning, makes sense, since it’s August. A guy named Sloba and me are meeting for the first time ever to hitchhike together towards Belgrade, Serbia. Seems I’m taking another hitchhiking virginity, but about that kind of virginity some other time. We’re having an easy time hitchhiking. First driver actually drives 15 minutes back to pick us up.  BTW never accept a ride like that! But we’re deciding to roll with it because we are two plus the lady-driver was super excited that she could help us. Interesting lady – a ballet teacher (http://www.collegefarmtrust.co.uk/the-weather-is-strange/) and a passionate hitchhiker in her earlier years. The bad news is that afterwards we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere.

They say every cloud has it’s silver lining, which in our case, is in a shape of a truck driver. Humorous with interesting stories about life, work and all less important things. End yeah, her ex colleague was a guy that became very famous in Croatia for picking up a hitchhiking girl and killing her.

We said our goodbyes in a city Slavonski Brod at the gas station. So we are sitting here and trying not to be suspicious when police car is approaching, but turns out they had bigger problems then little hitchhikers. In that moment a truck is stooping all the way out on the road and horning. The guy is waving. My first thought is – his tire is flat. But apparently, he wants to pick us up. Why is that so interesting? Cause we were quite far from the road and I still don’t understand how he saw us and realized we were hitchhiking o.O Some good humans out there.

At the Croatian- Serbian border we are welcomed by a miles and miles of cars. We are swagging our way around the cars on our long legs with cool shades on our heads. Drivers who’ve been stuck for hours in the heat are so envy of us  :D Each time I’m crossing Serbian border I tell them I’m off to find a husband and usually they find it funny. This time they didn’t, I guess they finally realized it’s hopeless. So anyhow, after 10 minutes of waiting we hitch a van with the craziest and funniest driver ever.

He’s a construction worker from Yugoslavia – which we all know does not exist anymore but he’s a mix of like every nation around here and he lived all over, so I guess he feels the unity still :D We shared some pretty interesting life stories  – like when he was sent away from home to go to high school in Belgrade at his uncles place and he shot the door in his face. Completly alone with like 50€ he found his way around to survive. This stand up comedy routine kind of ride couldn’t finish that easily of course. So we find ourselves in some village near Belgrade in a famous local cafe „Kordun” drinking a beer (read four).

After closing “Kordun”, the logical next step is to go and close down another one. In order to make our encounter memorable, we are holding tightly while trying to catch the last bus going to Belgrade, with windows down, super load folk music busting out of the speakers while the  the car is swerving on the road. My insomnia mixed with sudden visit of aunt flow has its take on me and I fall asleep.

The plan is to get to Slobas aunt place in New Belgrade, leave his stuff and go to the center to my friends place. WAS the plan.

I’m dragging til the building in unbearable pain slowly losing my mind. We come to the place, I introduce myself and go straight to the bathroom – cause that’s so polite. Then the toilet gets introduced to my bonny ass then my mouth and they continue that circle few times. No worries, I flushed regularly. Cold sweat is breaking out on my forhead, my neck and my back. This doesn’t feel right.

My vision is blurry, pain still unbearable, can’t feel my arms & legs. I’m laying on the bathroom floor trying to find my voice to beg for help. Ambulance, pretty please. They don’t want to come. Lucky me.

Sloba is caring me in his arms half conscious while his aunt is running to the car. We’re off to the ER in central Belgrade. Not sure what happened next but I ended up in a cool bed with wheels. Fancy. They’re not in a hurry to treat me cause they think I’m just another case of alcohol / drug misuse – cause at that moment I’m in fetus position, shaking uncontrollably and with no make up looking like your worst nightmare. I see my friend Jelena coming in and I feel at ease – she’ll take care of it. But not before we make a selfie. Friends <3

Long story long

So to cut the story short finally – instead answering to my modest requirements for some painkilling shots, they kept me for 5 h. The highlight of event are 2 bottles of infusion. But I’m thinking, I’m still in a pretty good shape when  I see people around me. Broken bones, reanimation, lost heels and dignity. Why do people who can’t handle alcohol drink I will never understand.

In between searching for a toilet that is not covered in red or brown stains (if u know what I mean) and bleeding from my vein, the story luckily did come to an end.

Reception ladies are really worried for me and are happy to see that I really am fine. Great, now lets get the paper work done – 230€ bill. Cold sweat is breaking out again and I don’t feel so fine anymore.  Of course, I didn’t get travel health insurance, cause why would I need it. It’s Belgrade, it’s like a second home. Stupid.

You don’t want to know what happend next, but thanks to the creativity of ladies at the reception my bill somehow eneded up being only 70 € – the only amount of cash my friend & I had.

It’s 5 am and dawn is creeping into the city. And I’m thinking – Belgrade, thank you for a “warm” welcome. I still love you, though.

 

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